MIAMI – The specter of former U.S. President Donald Trump hung over America’s bared and tattered soul on Tuesday like a stealth turd bomb as the nation awaited his arraignment on federal charges that he totally fucked everything up.
Federal prosecutors were expected to present Trump with a list of their grievances against the 45th president as he maintained that his list would be a lot longer so that we could do this forever.
Trump’s righteous indignation flamed anew this week when he finally realized he would face the long-arm of the American judicial branch for having kept classified documents at his Mar-a-Lago home, which Trump said he was only using as toilet paper because domestic inflationary pressures that were almost certainly 100 percent caused by the reign of terror inflicted on the nation by Hillary Clinton starting on or about Jan. 1, 1994, had prompted him to bail on his normal lavatorial expenditures and pivot to shoving pretty much everything up his ass to store for future exigencies.
This is a developing story from Breaking In Asia that we will update right up until the time everyone in American needs to check out and move to Winnipeg, Canada, as if that would be better.
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