MOUNTAIN VIEW, CALIFORNIA – Job networking website LinkedIn has announced a new initiative aimed at broadening the scope of professional disinguousness it currently allows its user base, saying it would now let users decide for themselves how many job titles they can cram into their profile before anyone at all calls bullshit.
LinkedIn CEO Ryan Roslansky said during a press conference at the company’s Silicon Valley headquarters in Mountain View, California, that the move was being made in conjunction with “various tech super-user groups and big-time media companies” who had complained that their employees’ profiles were being buried somewhere in the coding algorithm of the website, resulting in the diminished capability of some of the employees to more fully exploit LinkedIn’s ambush marketing potential on behalf of the companies.
“When we got together in focus groups with these branded content providers and other multinationals that use our platform, we realized that they were actually trying to tell us, ‘Hey man, we can’t advertise jobs that don’t exist and we have no intention of hiring anyone for without the broader connective reach of totally fraudulent job titles of our own employees and HR people.’”
“How the hell are we even supposed to begin to mainstream misinformation to LinkedIn’s gullible but highly professional user base if our HR people and other hiring execs can only go by one completely fabricated title like Talent Acquisition Specialist when they really need at least three or four to absolutely prove their HR bona fides to people who are also interested in hopping on the contrived careerist bandwagon,” Roslansky said the focus groups told LinkedIn.
One typical LinkedIn user Breaking In Asia talked to, 25-year-old Jeomennifer Kincaid, said she was looking forward to changing her one title from “Part-Time Copywriter” to the multi-layered “Digital Media Strategist, Storyteller, Content Consultant, Leader-Educator, Disaggregator, Spirituality Advocate and Humane Pharmacological Activist” to better reflect her life journey and inspire others via her LinkedIn posts on her daily job musings.
Kincaid also said that the job-title extensions would not only help her connect with similarly situated, highly motivated members of her remote-working community, but also elevate her visibility on LinkedIn so some corporate HR person of her own specific sub-set of barely-working, live-at-home-with-their-parents strivers would ultimately reach out to her and offer her a living wage of at least $14.95 an hour.
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