STOCKHOLM – The Anxiety-Industrial Complex has for the first time overtaken the Military-Industrial Complex in the global fight for Supremacy Above All Other Things including humanity, according to a study published this week by the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute.
The institute said in its study, which surveyed 15 of the world’s top “X”-Industrial Complexes, that the Anxiety-Industrial Complex had reached ascendancy over its peers on the strength of its continuous and financially unbreakable bond with the global pharmaceutical and hygienic products industries.
The two industries had fueled the unprecedented growth of the Complex through ingenious and relentless advertising campaigns targeting germaphobes, Islamaphobes, vegans, the Internet-addicted, bipolar ambisexuals and all other white people who are already generally too afraid of everything to venture more than a few blocks outside their own homes, the institute said.
“The good old days when the Military-Industrial Complex would barely have to try in order to keep an iron grip on the machinery of world power are long gone,” the institute said. “Although the political-financial-military nexus is still going strong, sucking the lifeblood out of just about every country that makes a substantial defense budget a priority, the Anxiety-Industrial Complex has made some great strides in recent years, clearly proving that its influence in spreading such things as the ‘global coronavirus threat’ has had a very real and lasting impact on the socio-political landscape.
“Plus, it has raked in a close to $486 billion from Valerian Root Toothpaste alone, which is just one of the many profit-extrusion highlights in the Anxiety-Industrial Complex’s relatively short existence,” it added.
The institute added that the Technology-Industrial Complex was coming on strong in the category, currently standing at No. 3 globally, but that the Anxiety-Industrial Complex could easily kill the Technology-Industrial Complex if it really wanted to merely by convincing the world population that the Technology-Industrial Complex was out to get them and that they could take an as-yet-invented drug to magically rid themselves of its influence.
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