WASHINGTON – U.S. President Donald Trump said over the weekend that he would authorize the sending of National Guard troops to Taiwan should it take the politically volatile step of declaring independence from the United States despite the fact that the mostly-unrecognized-internationally self-governing island barely qualifies as a country, much less a state that would fit nicely somewhere between Wyoming and Hawaii.
Trump, meeting with reporters on the sidelines of the second annual Anti-White Privilege Convention in Schenectady, New York, where he was scheduled to host a roundtable discussion entitled “Being Me, Being You: How Race Occluded My Rainbow Vision,” said when asked about the state of U.S.-Taiwan relations that he had “zero issues” with how Taiwan governed itself, so long as it did so within the “boundaries of the U.S. Constitution.”
Trump said the White House took a narrow view of of any state or region’s attempt to break ties with the U.S. because, “For me at least, that possibility is, constitutionally speaking, a non-starter.”
“You have to understand that the last time this happened, troops were sent in, the rebellion was quelled, and our nation became stronger because of it,” Trump said, sketchily referring to that one time back in the 1980s when the Upper Peninsula region of Michigan, along with some heavily forested parts of northern Wisconsin, broached the possibility of seceding from the union.
Trump also added that although he greatly admired Taiwan’s foodie culture, having given the U.S. such offerings as “chicken chow mein, hot dogs on a stick and deep-fried McDonald’s cheeseburgers,” that did not mean Taiwan could simply dictate to others its own international policies “without the express written consent of the White House and, probably, the NBA.”
When informed by one of the pool reporters that Taiwan is not actually part of the United States and that if it ever seceded it would be from China and not the U.S., and that the U.S. adheres to the “One China” policy, meaning that it accepts that Taiwan is actually part of China, Trump rolled his eyes as if to suggest the reporter was trotting out that old Hollywood trope of “underdog country goes to battle with vicious quasi-governing overlord and wins the hearts of gullible international community.”
“Listen, pal, Taiwan is ours!” Trump spat. “If they have anything to say about it they can call me.”
He then handed out his Oval Office phone number to anyone present, including reporters from Taiwan’s Central News Agency, telling them he would talk to their governor as soon as he cleaned up “this whole overbloated federal budget mess.”
Be First to Comment