SHENZHEN – The Chinese doctor recently sentenced to three years in prison for illegally carrying out gene-editing experiments received his new work assignment this week after checking into Shenzhen Prison to begin his term.
He Jiankui, the doctor who claimed his gene-editing technique would make babies resistant to HIV infections from their parents – a medical contribution the Chinese authorities said clearly violated ethics rules because it would have helped save thousands of babies from potential death sentences – has been tasked with splicing prototypical Chinese genotypes into zygotes freely donated by volunteer Uighur mothers from the Harmonious Peoples Rock Mine gulag in northwestern China.
The zygotes, which would normally have developed into fully fledged Uighur adults over a period of time, are now expected to evolve into something more transcendent and wholly in line with Chinese government policy on human transmogrification.
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“We can see from Dr. He’s initial experimentations in the prison medical research laboratory that the donated zygotes are already showing signs that they have will someday have their Muslim tendencies more easily beaten out of them and can be groomed into Godless hegemons,” said Zhang Zhiwei, who heads China’s Bureau of Genetic Sanitation. “Oh, how they will love succulent pork giblets,” he added.
Zhang said that although he wasn’t really planning on having the zygotes someday all look exactly like Xi Jinping or Empress Dowager Cixi, he added that “If Dr. He can pull that off, we would consider commuting his sentence to something like time served – although this may not come to pass for a few decades at least.”
In the meantime, Zhang said, he would invite the international medical community to come observe Dr. He in his new work environment and offer him suggestions on improving chromosomal abnormalities that manifest in self-awareness, humanitarian tendencies and respect for global norms like not hacking up all your phlegm in one go while on a public bus.