BANGKOK – German sexpat and Thai AirAsia passenger Gunther Wagner caused the delay of a Bangkok to Koh Samui flight yesterday after insisting that his Thai ladyboy partner should be allowed to fly gratis, citing international Emotional Support Companion regulations mandating that airlines accommodate their free passage if their guardian/sex partner holds a certificate proving that traveling without one would substantially interfere in the passenger’s major life activities.
Wagner, a 46-year-old pipefitter from Hofheim, Germay, had been on a month-long holiday in Bangkok when he met 22-year-old Pusarakham Anuwat idling at a Nana Plaza bar, Boom-Boom Safari, asking her to have a drink and perform a nominal sex act that is currently outlawed in Hofheim but is a recommended tonic in Bangkok for time-worn European tourists.
“I haffe neffer zee zis kind of girl before,” Wagner explained about the nearly instantaneous erection he achieved upon first meeting Anuwat.
“I’m zinking like zis is zee girl of mein dreams, ja? How can I be vithout her effer again after she does zomething like zis to me?” Wagner said, referring to The Bangkok Smear Anuwat performed on him while he was down on all fours shot-gunning half pints of Hefeweizen.
“OK, I don’t really know vat she is — maybe ein she, maybe ein he, maybe both? But vat does it matter if I luff her und she can giffe me such zings as varmth, confidence und zee most Ha-MAA-ZING rim-job zat mein ex-vife vas somehow incapable of providing.”
Wagner said he had become so attached to Anuwat that he had convinced her to put off the gender reassignment surgery she had planned for the summer, thinking it a better tack to inure himself to the sight of both boobs and penis on the same person just in case Anuwat changed her mind and/or Wagner refused to give up heavy pegging.
“It is for zis reason — she is mein efferything und especially mein emotional support — zat I requested zat Thai AirAsia let her fly free in zee zeat next to me,” Wagner said. “But zis vas only in line vith international regulations, und I needed her for ze nonjudgmental positive regard she vould giffe me during zee flight, as vell as ein handie or two.”
“I also offered to make sure zat I vas on her leash at all times and to wear mein spiked collar, but ze airline seemed to scoff at zis as zough zey haffe never heard such ‘outrageous demands.’”
Wagner said that in the end, the airline decided to pull him and Anuwat from the flight.
He said he would now hire a lawyer and sue the airline for intentional infliction of emotional distress and breach of contract, although he added that he would settle the case for a post-op-tranny threesome and a case of beer.