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Millennial-Aged Fox Sports Producer Wanted Griffeys to Emerge From Field of Dreams Staring into Nokia Cellphones to Really Capture What Life Must Have Been Like Back in the Early 1900s: BIA Exclusive

Millennial-Aged Fox Sports Producer Wanted Griffeys to Emerge From Field of Dreams Staring into Nokia Cellphones to Really Capture What Life Must Have Been Like Back in the Early 1900s: BIA Exclusive

CHICAGO – The backdrop was glorious: a pastoral midwestern tableau, the setting sun and cornstalks up to the ears. Major League Baseball’s now annual Field…

Police Sent for Welfare Check on Laos: ‘We Haven’t Heard From Them in Years’

Police Sent for Welfare Check on Laos: ‘We Haven’t Heard From Them in Years’

Pelosi in Pink: U.S. House Speaker’s Hidden Message to China about Tender Feelings and Wilting Lilys

Pelosi in Pink: U.S. House Speaker’s Hidden Message to China about Tender Feelings and Wilting Lilys

Lizzo Fans Average 7.4-Pound Weight Gain Per Concert in Orgies of Mutual Enablement: Study

Lizzo Fans Average 7.4-Pound Weight Gain Per Concert in Orgies of Mutual Enablement: Study

Experts Say Biden’s Bro-Off With MBS Could Lead to Heavy Regular Geopolitical Fisting

Experts Say Biden’s Bro-Off With MBS Could Lead to Heavy Regular Geopolitical Fisting

New SCMP CEO Mo Chung Says He Won’t Be Stooge of China

New SCMP CEO Mo Chung Says He Won’t Be Stooge of China

Mystery Marking in Hong Kong Hotel Carpet Could Portend China’s Iron Rule of Enclave, Expert Warns

Mystery Marking in Hong Kong Hotel Carpet Could Portend China’s Iron Rule of Enclave, Expert Warns

China Says Coronavirus Patients Who Die Face Expulsion From CCP

China Says Coronavirus Patients Who Die Face Expulsion From CCP

HSBC Banker With Coronavirus Privilege Struts Through Central Hong Kong Unmasked, Drawing Ire of Low-Credit-Score Passersby

HSBC Banker With Coronavirus Privilege Struts Through Central Hong Kong Unmasked, Drawing Ire of Low-Credit-Score Passersby

Cobra Kai Season 5 Adds Second Asian Bully to Cast to Lock in Diversity Overkill

Cobra Kai Season 5 Adds Second Asian Bully to Cast to Lock in Diversity Overkill

ISIS Declares Jihad on Covid-19, Warns Virus Not to Get ‘Too Joyful or Arrogant’

ISIS Declares Jihad on Covid-19, Warns Virus Not to Get ‘Too Joyful or Arrogant’

Donald Trump Vows Crackdown on Independence Movement in Taiwan Even Though It Is Not Yet a U.S. State

Donald Trump Vows Crackdown on Independence Movement in Taiwan Even Though It Is Not Yet a U.S. State

HSBC Hong Kong Banker Who Declared Pansexuality Still Can’t Get Laid in Any Gender

HSBC Hong Kong Banker Who Declared Pansexuality Still Can’t Get Laid in Any Gender

As Hong Kong Government Withdraws Extradition Bill, China Pledges to Revert to Hooded Kidnappings

As Hong Kong Government Withdraws Extradition Bill, China Pledges to Revert to Hooded Kidnappings

Anti-Stupidity Vaccine Coming Next Year But Dumb People Already Say They Won’t Take It

Anti-Stupidity Vaccine Coming Next Year But Dumb People Already Say They Won’t Take It

New York Times Goes Full Frontal With Dork Editor’s High School Prom Trauma Photo Spread

New York Times Goes Full Frontal With Dork Editor’s High School Prom Trauma Photo Spread

China: Peng Shuai Working on Backhanded Hammer Stroke at Harmonious People’s Rock Mine

China: Peng Shuai Working on Backhanded Hammer Stroke at Harmonious People’s Rock Mine

Plane Carrying Boris Johnson From Climate Summit Used Blend of 65% Bloviated Fats, 35% Natural Gaseous Extrusions

Plane Carrying Boris Johnson From Climate Summit Used Blend of 65% Bloviated Fats, 35% Natural Gaseous Extrusions

OP-ED: ‘Squid Game’ Teaches Us to Be Kind to Our Neighbors Before Destroying Their Dignity, Making Them Pee Their Pants and Stabbing Them in the Neck

OP-ED: ‘Squid Game’ Teaches Us to Be Kind to Our Neighbors Before Destroying Their Dignity, Making Them Pee Their Pants and Stabbing Them in the Neck

Banker Who Snorted 8 Bags of Blow in Hong Kong Bar Sets Fintech World Ablaze By Paying Dealer With Electronic Letter of Credit

Banker Who Snorted 8 Bags of Blow in Hong Kong Bar Sets Fintech World Ablaze By Paying Dealer With Electronic Letter of Credit

Auschwitz Survivor Who Watched Entire Family Obliterated From Face of Earth as Nazis Destroyed All of Europe Says She Feels for Tennis Star Andy Murray as He Battles Mental Health Issues Over Lame Hip

Auschwitz Survivor Who Watched Entire Family Obliterated From Face of Earth as Nazis Destroyed All of Europe Says She Feels for Tennis Star Andy Murray as He Battles Mental Health Issues Over Lame Hip

Kevin Spacey to Play Coronavirus in Mamet Production of Hit Pandemic

Kevin Spacey to Play Coronavirus in Mamet Production of Hit Pandemic

Overprivileged Vancouver-Born Hong Kong Banker Feigns Ignorance of Taxi’s Clear Unavailability And Tries to Wave One Down Anyway

Overprivileged Vancouver-Born Hong Kong Banker Feigns Ignorance of Taxi’s Clear Unavailability And Tries to Wave One Down Anyway

Cambodian Government Declares Phnom Penh a National Protected Sex Tourism Zone

Cambodian Government Declares Phnom Penh a National Protected Sex Tourism Zone

China Mandates Bowl Haircuts in Quest to End Sissy-Boy Culture

China Mandates Bowl Haircuts in Quest to End Sissy-Boy Culture

South China Morning Post Switching to Singlish, Citing Tyranny of Western English

South China Morning Post Switching to Singlish, Citing Tyranny of Western English

Cathay Pacific Pilot Bails Mid-Landing in Tokyo Citing Mental Health Issues, Breaking Hearts of ESPN Ground Audience and Also Killing Everyone On Board

Cathay Pacific Pilot Bails Mid-Landing in Tokyo Citing Mental Health Issues, Breaking Hearts of ESPN Ground Audience and Also Killing Everyone On Board

‘Busty Hmong’ Vaults to Top of Pornhub Searches After Suni Lee Bags Gymnastics Gold

‘Busty Hmong’ Vaults to Top of Pornhub Searches After Suni Lee Bags Gymnastics Gold

NBA To Take Entire Month of February Off For Load Management

NBA To Take Entire Month of February Off For Load Management

Coronavirus Poll: Internet Users Want More Photos of Deep-Nasal Swabs But Also Would Not Mind Seeing More Videos of Anal Probes

Coronavirus Poll: Internet Users Want More Photos of Deep-Nasal Swabs But Also Would Not Mind Seeing More Videos of Anal Probes

China: ‘Taiwan Elections Don’t Represent Who We Are As an Undemocratic People’

China: ‘Taiwan Elections Don’t Represent Who We Are As an Undemocratic People’

China’s Xi Jinping Admits Kim Jong-un’s Hair Thing Starting to Erode His Own Self-Esteem

China’s Xi Jinping Admits Kim Jong-un’s Hair Thing Starting to Erode His Own Self-Esteem

I Had An Interview With An Asian Tech Startup’s 24-Year-Old ‘Talent Acquisition Specialist’ And This Is How That Went

I Had An Interview With An Asian Tech Startup’s 24-Year-Old ‘Talent Acquisition Specialist’ And This Is How That Went

New York Times Says, ‘Eyeing His Future, Xi Jinping Rewrites His Past,’ but then Washington Post says ‘With His Eye on the Future, Xi Jinping Seizes Control of the Past,’ Reaffirming Widely Held Views of China by Elderly Newspapers

New York Times Says, ‘Eyeing His Future, Xi Jinping Rewrites His Past,’ but then Washington Post says ‘With His Eye on the Future, Xi Jinping Seizes Control of the Past,’ Reaffirming Widely Held Views of China by Elderly Newspapers

Secret China Dossier Outlines Plan to Turn Central Hong Kong into Hello Kitty Theme Park

Secret China Dossier Outlines Plan to Turn Central Hong Kong into Hello Kitty Theme Park

Beijing Security Guard Builds Gleaming Ice Palace From Phlegm-Hackings

Beijing Security Guard Builds Gleaming Ice Palace From Phlegm-Hackings

Study Finds Average Cellphone User Texts One Friend Constantly

Study Finds Average Cellphone User Texts One Friend Constantly

Cock-Blocked at Home, Vatican Aims to Extend Reach-Around to Asia

Cock-Blocked at Home, Vatican Aims to Extend Reach-Around to Asia

Software Engineer Who Rammed Waymo Van Full of Robots That Replaced Him Gets Death Sentence From Google District Court

Software Engineer Who Rammed Waymo Van Full of Robots That Replaced Him Gets Death Sentence From Google District Court

Brexit-Loving Brits in HK Bar Go to War With European Who Refuses to Fall For ‘Group Drinks’ Scam

Brexit-Loving Brits in HK Bar Go to War With European Who Refuses to Fall For ‘Group Drinks’ Scam

Black Lives Matter Rips Martin Scorsese Over Shooting of Unarmed Samuel Jackson in ’90s Hit Movie Goodfellas

Black Lives Matter Rips Martin Scorsese Over Shooting of Unarmed Samuel Jackson in ’90s Hit Movie Goodfellas

Iran Targets PornHub HQ, Meth Labs As It Seeks To Disable Vital U.S. Infrastructure

Iran Targets PornHub HQ, Meth Labs As It Seeks To Disable Vital U.S. Infrastructure

Rub-n-Tug Trade Plummets in Hong Kong on Coronavirus Bonerkill

Rub-n-Tug Trade Plummets in Hong Kong on Coronavirus Bonerkill

Expat Yoga Junta Declares Coup on Bali Government

Expat Yoga Junta Declares Coup on Bali Government

BIA Toilet Challenge: Mainland Employee of Hong Kong Legal Recruiting Firm Pinches Gold

BIA Toilet Challenge: Mainland Employee of Hong Kong Legal Recruiting Firm Pinches Gold

Chinese New Year Death Toll Hits 57,428,300 Crispy Roast Suckling Pigs, 18 Humans

Chinese New Year Death Toll Hits 57,428,300 Crispy Roast Suckling Pigs, 18 Humans

Thailand Beach Marks Millionth Chinese Tourist Who Totally Avoids Going into Water

Thailand Beach Marks Millionth Chinese Tourist Who Totally Avoids Going into Water

Hong Kong Health Authorities Can’t Tell if Puke on Sidewalk Is From Coronavirus or Drunk Expat Banker

Hong Kong Health Authorities Can’t Tell if Puke on Sidewalk Is From Coronavirus or Drunk Expat Banker

World Fucking Rates Hit All-Time Low as Vaginas, Other Orifices Go Into Lockdown

World Fucking Rates Hit All-Time Low as Vaginas, Other Orifices Go Into Lockdown

Australian Surfers in Bali Start Mental Health Project to Support Locals They Passed STDs To

Australian Surfers in Bali Start Mental Health Project to Support Locals They Passed STDs To

Trump to Acquire ‘Ventiladores’ for Coronavirus Victims After Hearing From Geraldo Rivera of Huge Stash in Juarez

Trump to Acquire ‘Ventiladores’ for Coronavirus Victims After Hearing From Geraldo Rivera of Huge Stash in Juarez

U.S. ‘Undisputed Leader’ in Covid-19 Cases, China ‘Falling Far Behind as Usual’: Trump

U.S. ‘Undisputed Leader’ in Covid-19 Cases, China ‘Falling Far Behind as Usual’: Trump

Closeted American in Hong Kong Bar Uses Drunk Straight Friend as Cover to Normalize Dick-Flicking as ‘Common Lunar New Year Greeting’ And Get as Close as Possible to Random Dudes’ Penises

Closeted American in Hong Kong Bar Uses Drunk Straight Friend as Cover to Normalize Dick-Flicking as ‘Common Lunar New Year Greeting’ And Get as Close as Possible to Random Dudes’ Penises

Sexpat WhatsApp Group in Pattaya Votes Thai PM Candidate ‘Most Bonable Royal’ Ever, Urges Election Commission to Rethink Disqualification

Sexpat WhatsApp Group in Pattaya Votes Thai PM Candidate ‘Most Bonable Royal’ Ever, Urges Election Commission to Rethink Disqualification

All Other Deaths Suspended as Coronavirus Corners Market; Some Types of Murder Still Allowed, Though

All Other Deaths Suspended as Coronavirus Corners Market; Some Types of Murder Still Allowed, Though

World Awakens on 10th Straight Hangover Day Only To Realize Too Late it Spent Most of Its Money on Already Mega-Rich Sports Stars: ‘Boy, Were We Ever Dumb’

World Awakens on 10th Straight Hangover Day Only To Realize Too Late it Spent Most of Its Money on Already Mega-Rich Sports Stars: ‘Boy, Were We Ever Dumb’

Hong Kong Philharmonic Member Booted From Arsenal Supporters Group After He Arrives at Pub Meet With French Horn

Hong Kong Philharmonic Member Booted From Arsenal Supporters Group After He Arrives at Pub Meet With French Horn

After Going Full Medieval on Police With Bows and Arrows, Hong Kong Protesters Vow to Bring Out The Gimp

After Going Full Medieval on Police With Bows and Arrows, Hong Kong Protesters Vow to Bring Out The Gimp

Kim Jong-un: ‘I’m So Done With White Guys’

Kim Jong-un: ‘I’m So Done With White Guys’

Donald Trump, Kim Jong-un Watch ‘Apocalypse Now,’ Argue Over Who Gets to Re-enact Col Kilgore Scene

Donald Trump, Kim Jong-un Watch ‘Apocalypse Now,’ Argue Over Who Gets to Re-enact Col Kilgore Scene

Kim Jong-un Breathes In ‘Sweet Smell of Chinese Freedom’ on Way to Hanoi

Kim Jong-un Breathes In ‘Sweet Smell of Chinese Freedom’ on Way to Hanoi

China Won’t Back Guaido Until He Lets It Buy Venezuela’s Entire Prostitution Racket and Oil Industry

China Won’t Back Guaido Until He Lets It Buy Venezuela’s Entire Prostitution Racket and Oil Industry

Tourists in Thailand Outraged As Cheetos Pulled From Snack Shelves

Tourists in Thailand Outraged As Cheetos Pulled From Snack Shelves

Norway Demands Minnesota Vikings Change Name, Saying It Mocks Country’s Proud Heritage as Murderous Swede-Killing Lutefisk Eaters

Norway Demands Minnesota Vikings Change Name, Saying It Mocks Country’s Proud Heritage as Murderous Swede-Killing Lutefisk Eaters

Under-Pressure Florida Reporter ‘Discovers’ Dead Body In Miami Condo to Add Crucial Extra Fatality to Hurricane Dorian Toll

Under-Pressure Florida Reporter ‘Discovers’ Dead Body In Miami Condo to Add Crucial Extra Fatality to Hurricane Dorian Toll

Coronavirus a Straggler on Global Death List, Despite Doofus Media Cheerleading

Coronavirus a Straggler on Global Death List, Despite Doofus Media Cheerleading

China, The Mental Kingdom

China, The Mental Kingdom

Doctor Says 77-Year-Old Biden Able to Pop, Maintain Wood ‘At Highest Levels’

Doctor Says 77-Year-Old Biden Able to Pop, Maintain Wood ‘At Highest Levels’

Campaign Stunner as Buttigieg’s Gay Dwarf Lover Comes Out of The Cupboard

Campaign Stunner as Buttigieg’s Gay Dwarf Lover Comes Out of The Cupboard

World Health Organization to Name Next Pandemic ‘Global Ass-Rape Virus’ to Build on Success of Current Campaign

World Health Organization to Name Next Pandemic ‘Global Ass-Rape Virus’ to Build on Success of Current Campaign

CNN, Fox News Champion First True International Celebrity Death to Really Take This Thing to Another Level

CNN, Fox News Champion First True International Celebrity Death to Really Take This Thing to Another Level

U.S. Government Grants Aaron Rodgers Conscientious Objector Status in War on Covid, Clearing Him for Seahawks Game

U.S. Government Grants Aaron Rodgers Conscientious Objector Status in War on Covid, Clearing Him for Seahawks Game

White Women on ‘The Bachelor’ Torched By White Woman From The Washington Post For Somehow Not Enjoying Cow Innards on Singapore Trip

White Women on ‘The Bachelor’ Torched By White Woman From The Washington Post For Somehow Not Enjoying Cow Innards on Singapore Trip

Wuhan Coronavirus Outbreak Enters 2nd Week With Bogan Australian Broadcasters Still Pronouncing It ‘WOO!-HARN!’

Wuhan Coronavirus Outbreak Enters 2nd Week With Bogan Australian Broadcasters Still Pronouncing It ‘WOO!-HARN!’

Asian-Americans Demand Next Latino-Dominated Super Bowl Halftime Show Include More Than Just Passing Reference to Ken Jeong

Asian-Americans Demand Next Latino-Dominated Super Bowl Halftime Show Include More Than Just Passing Reference to Ken Jeong

The Scourge of Our Times

The Scourge of Our Times

China Rips Super Bowl For Failing to Advertise Hegemonic Global Trade Plan

China Rips Super Bowl For Failing to Advertise Hegemonic Global Trade Plan