BEIJING – China warned today that any victims of the novel coronavirus epidemic who fail to face their illness “with boldness” and then also die would no longer be considered members in good standing of the Chinese Communist Party, with the privileges attached to that membership revoked and sold to anyone who actually showed the fortitude to not contract the virus in the first place, like Inner Mongolian herdsmen and Stephon Marbury.
China’s Ministry of Health confirmed that the death toll from the coronavirus is now expected to number in the thousands before the disease eventually runs its course, with most of the deaths attributed to the lack of a “win-win attitude” on the part of patients who refused to not succumb to the disease.
The ministry added that although American hegemony in the region had “probably not” played a part in the spread of the disease, that theory could not be ruled out until China had total permission to freely swipe U.S. intellectual property under the broadest reading of any new U.S.-China trade accord.
This is a developing story exclusive to Breaking In Asia that will be updated at approximately every 10,000 coronavirus fatalities.