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Study Finds Average Cellphone User Texts One Friend Constantly

Study Finds Average Cellphone User Texts One Friend Constantly

BOSTON/SYDNEY – A joint study by Harvard University and the University of Sydney has found that cellphone users on average text their one special friend…

Cock-Blocked at Home, Vatican Aims to Extend Reach-Around to Asia

Cock-Blocked at Home, Vatican Aims to Extend Reach-Around to Asia

Software Engineer Who Rammed Waymo Van Full of Robots That Replaced Him Gets Death Sentence From Google District Court

Software Engineer Who Rammed Waymo Van Full of Robots That Replaced Him Gets Death Sentence From Google District Court

Brexit-Loving Brits in HK Bar Go to War With European Who Refuses to Fall For ‘Group Drinks’ Scam

Brexit-Loving Brits in HK Bar Go to War With European Who Refuses to Fall For ‘Group Drinks’ Scam

Black Lives Matter Rips Martin Scorsese Over Shooting of Unarmed Samuel Jackson in ’90s Hit Movie Goodfellas

Black Lives Matter Rips Martin Scorsese Over Shooting of Unarmed Samuel Jackson in ’90s Hit Movie Goodfellas

Iran Targets PornHub HQ, Meth Labs As It Seeks To Disable Vital U.S. Infrastructure

Iran Targets PornHub HQ, Meth Labs As It Seeks To Disable Vital U.S. Infrastructure

Rub-n-Tug Trade Plummets in Hong Kong on Coronavirus Bonerkill

Rub-n-Tug Trade Plummets in Hong Kong on Coronavirus Bonerkill

Expat Yoga Junta Declares Coup on Bali Government

Expat Yoga Junta Declares Coup on Bali Government

BIA Toilet Challenge: Mainland Employee of Hong Kong Legal Recruiting Firm Pinches Gold

BIA Toilet Challenge: Mainland Employee of Hong Kong Legal Recruiting Firm Pinches Gold

Chinese New Year Death Toll Hits 57,428,300 Crispy Roast Suckling Pigs, 18 Humans

Chinese New Year Death Toll Hits 57,428,300 Crispy Roast Suckling Pigs, 18 Humans

Thailand Beach Marks Millionth Chinese Tourist Who Totally Avoids Going into Water

Thailand Beach Marks Millionth Chinese Tourist Who Totally Avoids Going into Water

Hong Kong Health Authorities Can’t Tell if Puke on Sidewalk Is From Coronavirus or Drunk Expat Banker

Hong Kong Health Authorities Can’t Tell if Puke on Sidewalk Is From Coronavirus or Drunk Expat Banker

World Fucking Rates Hit All-Time Low as Vaginas, Other Orifices Go Into Lockdown

World Fucking Rates Hit All-Time Low as Vaginas, Other Orifices Go Into Lockdown

Australian Surfers in Bali Start Mental Health Project to Support Locals They Passed STDs To

Australian Surfers in Bali Start Mental Health Project to Support Locals They Passed STDs To

Trump to Acquire ‘Ventiladores’ for Coronavirus Victims After Hearing From Geraldo Rivera of Huge Stash in Juarez

Trump to Acquire ‘Ventiladores’ for Coronavirus Victims After Hearing From Geraldo Rivera of Huge Stash in Juarez

U.S. ‘Undisputed Leader’ in Covid-19 Cases, China ‘Falling Far Behind as Usual’: Trump

U.S. ‘Undisputed Leader’ in Covid-19 Cases, China ‘Falling Far Behind as Usual’: Trump

Closeted American in Hong Kong Bar Uses Drunk Straight Friend as Cover to Normalize Dick-Flicking as ‘Common Lunar New Year Greeting’ And Get as Close as Possible to Random Dudes’ Penises

Closeted American in Hong Kong Bar Uses Drunk Straight Friend as Cover to Normalize Dick-Flicking as ‘Common Lunar New Year Greeting’ And Get as Close as Possible to Random Dudes’ Penises

Sexpat WhatsApp Group in Pattaya Votes Thai PM Candidate ‘Most Bonable Royal’ Ever, Urges Election Commission to Rethink Disqualification

Sexpat WhatsApp Group in Pattaya Votes Thai PM Candidate ‘Most Bonable Royal’ Ever, Urges Election Commission to Rethink Disqualification

All Other Deaths Suspended as Coronavirus Corners Market; Some Types of Murder Still Allowed, Though

All Other Deaths Suspended as Coronavirus Corners Market; Some Types of Murder Still Allowed, Though

World Awakens on 10th Straight Hangover Day Only To Realize Too Late it Spent Most of Its Money on Already Mega-Rich Sports Stars: ‘Boy, Were We Ever Dumb’

World Awakens on 10th Straight Hangover Day Only To Realize Too Late it Spent Most of Its Money on Already Mega-Rich Sports Stars: ‘Boy, Were We Ever Dumb’

Hong Kong Philharmonic Member Booted From Arsenal Supporters Group After He Arrives at Pub Meet With French Horn

Hong Kong Philharmonic Member Booted From Arsenal Supporters Group After He Arrives at Pub Meet With French Horn

After Going Full Medieval on Police With Bows and Arrows, Hong Kong Protesters Vow to Bring Out The Gimp

After Going Full Medieval on Police With Bows and Arrows, Hong Kong Protesters Vow to Bring Out The Gimp

Kim Jong-un: ‘I’m So Done With White Guys’

Kim Jong-un: ‘I’m So Done With White Guys’

Donald Trump, Kim Jong-un Watch ‘Apocalypse Now,’ Argue Over Who Gets to Re-enact Col Kilgore Scene

Donald Trump, Kim Jong-un Watch ‘Apocalypse Now,’ Argue Over Who Gets to Re-enact Col Kilgore Scene

Kim Jong-un Breathes In ‘Sweet Smell of Chinese Freedom’ on Way to Hanoi

Kim Jong-un Breathes In ‘Sweet Smell of Chinese Freedom’ on Way to Hanoi

China Won’t Back Guaido Until He Lets It Buy Venezuela’s Entire Prostitution Racket and Oil Industry

China Won’t Back Guaido Until He Lets It Buy Venezuela’s Entire Prostitution Racket and Oil Industry

Tourists in Thailand Outraged As Cheetos Pulled From Snack Shelves

Tourists in Thailand Outraged As Cheetos Pulled From Snack Shelves

Norway Demands Minnesota Vikings Change Name, Saying It Mocks Country’s Proud Heritage as Murderous Swede-Killing Lutefisk Eaters

Norway Demands Minnesota Vikings Change Name, Saying It Mocks Country’s Proud Heritage as Murderous Swede-Killing Lutefisk Eaters

Under-Pressure Florida Reporter ‘Discovers’ Dead Body In Miami Condo to Add Crucial Extra Fatality to Hurricane Dorian Toll

Under-Pressure Florida Reporter ‘Discovers’ Dead Body In Miami Condo to Add Crucial Extra Fatality to Hurricane Dorian Toll

Coronavirus a Straggler on Global Death List, Despite Doofus Media Cheerleading

Coronavirus a Straggler on Global Death List, Despite Doofus Media Cheerleading

China, The Mental Kingdom

China, The Mental Kingdom

SCMP Asia Editor Wins Coveted SOPA Award for ‘Compellingly Linking’ Every Single Word in Groundbreaking K-Pop Article

SCMP Asia Editor Wins Coveted SOPA Award for ‘Compellingly Linking’ Every Single Word in Groundbreaking K-Pop Article

Doctor Says 77-Year-Old Biden Able to Pop, Maintain Wood ‘At Highest Levels’

Doctor Says 77-Year-Old Biden Able to Pop, Maintain Wood ‘At Highest Levels’

Campaign Stunner as Buttigieg’s Gay Dwarf Lover Comes Out of The Cupboard

Campaign Stunner as Buttigieg’s Gay Dwarf Lover Comes Out of The Cupboard

World Health Organization to Name Next Pandemic ‘Global Ass-Rape Virus’ to Build on Success of Current Campaign

World Health Organization to Name Next Pandemic ‘Global Ass-Rape Virus’ to Build on Success of Current Campaign

CNN, Fox News Champion First True International Celebrity Death to Really Take This Thing to Another Level

CNN, Fox News Champion First True International Celebrity Death to Really Take This Thing to Another Level

U.S. Government Grants Aaron Rodgers Conscientious Objector Status in War on Covid, Clearing Him for Seahawks Game

U.S. Government Grants Aaron Rodgers Conscientious Objector Status in War on Covid, Clearing Him for Seahawks Game

White Women on ‘The Bachelor’ Torched By White Woman From The Washington Post For Somehow Not Enjoying Cow Innards on Singapore Trip

White Women on ‘The Bachelor’ Torched By White Woman From The Washington Post For Somehow Not Enjoying Cow Innards on Singapore Trip