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OP-ED: Thailand’s New Marriage Equality Law Incompatible With Goal of Being World’s No. 1 Bootleg Viagra Producer

For a country whose prosperity is largely dependent on the sale of erectile dysfunction drugs, mango smoothies and used-condom-splattered Pattaya condos, Thailand faces a gigantic economic bonerkill with the passage of a law recognizing same-sex marriage. 

Although LGBTQ+ activists, couples and their sundry partners trumpeted the new law as a monumental step toward equal rights in Thailand, British punters and others who flock to  the country with the hopes of finally having casual, NSA and heavily lubed sex with any non-married Thai they can lay their hands on will now find it doubly difficult to find a willing partner. 

That is because the new law will effectively unleash a wave of pent-up matrimonial demand among the country’s marginalized sex workers – many of them the so-called “ladyboys” and others in the LGBTQ+ community that British, French and often Canadian tourists turn to when the going gets tough back home –  with the new unions leading to stronger economic underpinnings for couples newly entering the conjugal fray.

With LGBTQ+ partners now able to freely live together and support one another, possibly with the help of government subsidies for married couples that had previously only been available to cisgendered couples, many will be able to finally get off the dole of piecemeal sex work. 

Although the liberation will undoubtedly be a boon to the tens of thousands of Thais otherwise forced to service the sex-starved British, French, Canadian and also Australian and definitely German tourists, an entire economic gridwork tied to the trade in bootleg Viagra will inevitably collapse as these same tourists realize their foul ends will no longer be met: with no demand for erections, the means for turgescent achievement will likewise be at an end.

This likely sounds the death knell for the bootleg Viagra industry, which in 2023 was responsible for 63 percent of Thai GDP. And with that, a country that was once the raging bonosaurus of Asia will return to its formerly financially flaccid state, marriage partner in tow.

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