Press "Enter" to skip to content

Vietnam Blocks PornHub as ‘Busty Local’ Sites Demand Boob Jobs

HO CHI MINH CITY – The Vietnamese government has taken the extraordinary step of blocking the popular smut website PornHub in the country after “busty local” porno sites filed an antitrust lawsuit alleging that they are unable to compete against the U.S.-based filth giant due to “inherent disadvantages,” causing an uneven playing field.

The lawsuit, filed by local websites Busty ‘Nam, Busty Viet Vixens, Busty Nguyen’s Phuc-Ventures and Ho Chi Twins, demanded that the Vietnamese government effectively ring-fence boob jobs within the national economy and not allow foreign competitors like PornHub to monopolise the prurient interests of Vietnamese consumers of erotica by luring them in with their much bigger, fuller and more natural D, double-D, E, F and Gargantuan-cup boobies.

“No way we compete on size!” said the lawyer for the local websites, Denny Vuong. “Impossible! They too big! No Fair!”

Vuong assailed PornHub et al. for what he said was essentially deflating the boob jobs of busty locals to the point where most were now having to move business to the neighbouring countries of Laos and Cambodia, where their xoai are relatively more acclaimed for their surprising firmness, sweet taste and understated elegance.

But Vuong also admitted that in order to keep their boob jobs in the long term, busty locals would have to undergo massive boob jobs in the short term. “Only way is bolt-ons!” Vuong exclaimed. “Otherwise no one horny!”

Vuong said that he himself was not advocating a boob jobs for boob jobs proposition, but added that the realities of the market meant that Vietnamese government support was necessary to lift and shape the local industry so that its boobage could be diddled over in much the same manner as foreigners’ ample milk monsters.

Comments are closed.

Advertising and editorial inquiries: breakinginasia@gmail.com