CHINA-OCCUPIED HONG KONG – Monday started as many other days do for Chen Guowei – with a cigarette break and some quality dumpage time in his office bathroom. Little did the Beijing native know that by the end of it he would be walking away the winner of Breaking In Asia’s first Toilet Challenge Award, given to the cubicle dweller who best exemplifies the spirit of grit and innovation when it comes to violating every known international standard of basic lavatory etiquette in a public facility.
Chen, the assistant head of private practice for Bonner-Chamille, an Asia-focused legal and compliance recruiting company, “outdid even himself in the effort and urgency he gave in performing his morning ablutions,” according to his colleague, Samjon Grindlemayer, who recorded Chen’s tortured constrictions while enjoying a quiet, weekend-absolving burner of his own in the stall next to Chen’s. “Know this about Mr. Chen – he delivers on the job and in the jakes,” Kendalwaithe said in forwarding Chen’s nomination.
In walking away with gold, Chen beat out a host of competitors, including the guy from HSBC who couldn’t seem to shake his business enough to squeeze out his last drops, the dude in the Pure Fitness locker room performing the “under the cradle” post-shower butt wipe with a white towel, and the lady from AGIC Capital who cried in rage/joy while birthing her first BM in what seemed like ages.
But you be the judge…