BANGKOK – A group of English tourists decided today that Lolitas bar on Sukhumvit Soi 8 in Bangkok was just as good as any in the immediate area of their hotel to have Happy Hour drinks, agreeing that it “represented great value” compared with other area bars considering the totality of its food and beverage offerings.
Simon Winthrop, the 58-year-old leader of the four-man group, which was in Thailand for a golfing holiday, said he was initially attracted to Lolitas because the candy-cane-themed exterior had somehow reminded him of simpler times in his own sceptered-isle homeland, where Brexit, partisan politics and a splitting-at-its-seams royal family have left a flummoxed populace seemingly under siege.
“In no way can it be said we made our decision [to enter a renowned Bangkok BJ bar] based on recommendations from our golfing mates who have also plundered these self-same shores,” Winthrop said while enjoying the first of his Chang beer twofers while 37-year-old hostess Poonibum Twatamok, or “Georgina,” to her friends, repeatedly thrust her pelvis near, but not totally into, his face as he marveled over the cheap price of the beer and a remix of Oasis’s “Don’t Look Back in Anger” thumped over the sound system.
“The lads and I just really needed to forget about what’s going on back home and throw back a few cold lagers,” Winthrop said, as Georgina landed a slow-motion backward aerial walkover naked chokehold onto his head. “You really can’t beat the prices, and the staff seems friendly enough.”
The youngest member of the group, Winthrop’s 28-year-old nephew Angus, agreed that the group’s savings from patronising the bar would be substantial, allowing them to plow back the extra money into more rounds of golf at the Eastern Star Country Club in Pattaya.
“I think we’ll probably continue to use Lolitas as our main entertainment base given the cost savings we can achieve here,” Angus said as another hostess, 19-year-old Pakpao Chuwanathorn, completely absorbed his entire fist into her lingam. “Why, I’ve naught seen such a great Happy Hour deal since the last time our group was together, when we went to Siem Reap, Cambodia, to spend an extended weekend at Angkor Golf Resort and also to enjoy the massive discounts on tap at Pol Pot’s Pussy Emporium when you order the Steak & BJ Combo – if you’re lucky enough to get a seat there before 6pm every night.”