BANGKOK – A popular sexpat WhatsApp chat group in Pattaya, Thailand, has jumped to the defense of Thai Princess Ubolratana Rajakanya, voting her as the “Most Bonable Royal” of all time in the world and recommending that the Thai Election Commission reconsider her disqualification from the prime minister’s post, saying the 67-year-old had “set a precedent for beauty, brains and the ability to single-handedly rend our loins for want of someone our own age to talk to instead of our 22-year-old stripper girlfriends from Windmill Club A-Go-Go.”
The chat group, “Sexpats in Paradox” – a cheeky reference to the group’s obvious aims but conflicted feelings vis-a-vis their partners long ago left behind in Germany, England, Wales, Scotland, Sweden, Norway, the Netherlands, Australia, Croatia, Russia, the Isle of Man, France, Italy, California, Canada and especially Belgium – rated the princess a stunning 9.4 out of 10 on its overall “Most Bonable Royal” scale, surpassing the previous high score of 8.7, which was still held by the deceased but forever fun Princess Diana until the most recent poll by the group. The Thai princess also shattered the 60-plus age group mark, easily beating the 6.3 achieved by Queen Silvia of Sweden.
A spokesman for the WeChat group, Berthold Franheim, a retired munitions analyst from Braunschweig, Germany, said the group was initially hesitant to publicly show its support for Princess Ubolratana because it feared any outward displays of carnal allegiance could lead to harassment of the group members by their ex-wives. Franheim said the group had previously run into some trouble from the Thai government for also supporting former Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra, who was ousted from power by the country’s Constitutional Court after Sexpats in Paradox publicly announced it had voted her “Hottest MILF-Politician” of all time.
Franheim said that although he did not think there was a connection between the chat group’s pronouncements of its political/sexual preferences and later rulings ending their picks’ civic careers, it was obvious to him that Sexpats in Paradox’s peccadilloes were nevertheless being targeted by unidentified immigration officials for public derision, although he refused to cite any evidence backing this assertion for fear of losing his government-sponsored retirement visa, which has him living simply but decadently in a four-bedroom villa within reach of Pattaya’s famed sweet, fine poon on Walking Street and Siam Country Club.
“We will continue to make public our choices for higher offices despite our lack of any political rights whatsoever here,” Franheim told Breaking In Asia. “Sure, the Thai government can continue to insist that the royal family is ‘above politics’ and cannot hold any governmental office, but what is more important is that all residents of Thailand, including Sexpats in Paradox, enjoy their human right to be ‘above any one country’s sexual-enticement laws,’ especially when it comes to Hot Asian politicians and also busty ladyboys.”
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