MIAMI – Asian-Americans have erupted in fury over the lack of representation of their group during this year’s Super Bowl halftime show, saying that although they largely enjoyed the J.Lo/Shakira meat-grinder, the obvious prejudice the organizers showed for Latino culture at the expense of their own made it even more difficult for them to fully embrace the country’s Judeo-Christian ethics and values.
“The entire show was like a slap in the face to Asian-Americans,” said George Chu, president of the Asian-American Legal Aid Society of Los Angeles. “With every J.Lo buttshake, it’s like she was saying, ‘Hey Asian-Americans, if your ass looked anything like mine you might be getting somewhere within the hegemonic Anglo-Protestant societal schemata like my people are!'”
“How are we even supposed to compete with that, knowing the clear superiority Latinos have in pandering to middle-America’s fascination for excessive twerking, booty-doo dominatrixes and LatinX gender identity issues?” Chu asked.
“I mean, we’re all very thankful the Super Bowl at least included an advertisement for The Masked Singer featuring Korean-American Ken Jeong, but right now it seems that Ken Jeong is the only Asian-American face anyone in this country sees since Lucy Liu was generally considered to have been subsumed into the pantheon of white cultural icons.”
With J.Lo’s and Shakira’s exaggerated, sexualized dance moves in equal parts enthralling and infuriating to the majority non-Latino television viewing audience, including Asian-Americans, they were said to have caused special angst for white American males sitting at home next to wives who can pretend to twerk on some social occasions in the Presbyterian fashion but can’t really shake that ass like they mean to wreak carnal havoc like J.Lo and Shakira can.
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