TOKYO – China’s slime-coated surveillance tentacles have reached deep into another sphincter of what passes for public life on the mainland, targeting comedians and other Wuhan wiseacres through the deployment of new technology the Communist Party says can detect “incorrect remarks previously thought to be humorous but are not so funny now that you’re going to prison.”
Global watchdog group Human Rights Watch said in its latest report on China’s surveillance regime that the new system was used against the Chinese comedian Li Haoshi, who goes by the stage name “House” and was placed under police investigation after he used a vaguely funny slur at a live show in Beijing comparing Chinese President Xi Jinping to a shit sandwich.
Researchers at Human Rights Watch said the farcical recognition system, which has been deployed throughout China via the country’s vast CCTV and internet apparatus as well as other digital technologies, helps humor-impaired CCP officials discern off-color jokes about them and the party by comedians and other entertainers and even ordinary citizens through a triggering system that alerts security officials to whenever anyone in China stifles a laugh or chuckles outright when the Communist Party is brought up in conversation.
“Although most governments would encourage their citizens to partake in hearty guffawing throughout the day or offer shy smiles to their friends, helpmeets, lovers, teachers, colleagues and acquaintances, China’s Communist Party would really just rather smash your teeth in than have a dim awareness that it’s the butt of endless jokes,” Human Rights Watch said in a statement.
“Much like a schoolyard bully who doesn’t realize the other kids don’t want to play with him because he has a mixture of drool and boogers constantly sliding off his face, the CCP would prefer to continue seeing any of life’s simple joys as wholly inimical to its mission wipe that smile off your face right now and report you to the Xi Jinping School of Socialist Thought with Chinese Characteristics,” Human Rights Watch added.
“Things won’t seem so god damn hilarious after that, will they, Mr. Ha-Ha Funny Man?”
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