LOS ANGELES – Popular but troublesome weirdo actor Kevin Spacey will play the role of the Coronavirus in a David Mamet film production of the hit pandemic, with Mamet saying the two-time Oscar winner would be perfect for the part given his penchant for sneaking into strangers’ bodily crevices, latching onto the very nucleus of their beings with his thorny-headed metaphysical aura and then laying his eggs all over the place until the victims were fully his, body and soul.
Universal Pictures said in a statement that it would give Mamet unlimited funding for the film, allowing the “Hannibal” and “Untouchables” director to fully unravel the complex yet dispassionate underpinnings of the disease through his meticulous plot construction, overworked leitmotifs and stark mise-en-scènes.
Spacey will be supported by Hollywood A-listers Willem Dafoe, Woody Harrelson, Gary Busey, Crispin Glover, John Malkovich and of course Christopher Walken, who will play secondary disease-carrying sidekicks to Spacey’s Coronavirus lead. Helen Bonham Carter will co-star as the Coronavirus’s beard, misleading everybody into thinking it couldn’t really be a thing when it is most definitely much, much worse than a thing.
This is a developing story that Breaking In Asia will update as terms of Kevin Spacey’s bail conditions warrant.
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